Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Steven Waits

Steven doesn't want to be home today. Although he is so sweet that he wouldn't show his displeasure with me, if he has any. He tells me the things that make him unhappy, but he is mostly so optimistic and patient that he sees or finds the bright side, in his own way.

He did say that he is really bored and wants to go outside and do something, but I'm having an "outside" issue today: It's really cold out there.

He said also that he wants to spend time with me (very nice, thank you, Steven :).), so he brought his laptop up here to be with me. Leaning back on his dad's pillow he is playing Roblox Builder's Club while I read. I have a Roblox account, too, but I'm not all that interested in playing it today. He's o.k. with that, too.

We also forgot to go to gym class today. So he missed that.

While it's not the ideal homeschooling situation (one complete with schoolbooks and paper), I do think it's a life lesson to learn to be accommodating to people and finding creative ways to still be together without being demanding of one another's time. It's a real give and take in relationship. I let him know that I'm a little burnt out and somehow he can relate to that. He finds empathy and allows me to be myself, yet realizes that I still need him close. It's a side-by-side experience of the most authentic kind.

I'm not capable of making demands of my children to be any more or less than their truest selves. I'm just not. I don't have a lot of set rules. I don't tell them what to do all the time. I give them lots of room for learning (sometimes hard) lessons and I definitely encourage them to stop and breathe and listen to their inner needs when they believe it's time. We all need time to think or even to... not think

I'm glad that they often allow me this same wide berth to be in whatever emotional space I seem to require. I also believe that as they develop and begin to understand the lapse of time better, they can understand that emotions aren't the things by which we use to navigate through life, emotions rise and they go as swiftly as the tide, but they are often flags to pay heed to, and help us to know when to slow down or speed up or, in my case, to anchor. I think I've got some mixed metaphor going on there, but, you get what I'm saying :).

So, a question might be posed to Steven,"What did you do today?" and his answer might be, "Nothing." And for us, that's o.k. And for him, he seems o.k. with that, too. But he did make a kind and loving choice to be a marvelous companion for his world weary mom who could curl up with him beside her and read books and listen to his little anecdotes* until the first sign of a warm day.

*("Hey mom. Did you know that Nick's dad had a sign posted over his garage that said, "Trepassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again?""
No, I didn't. That's a good one, Steven :))

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